Christmas Thank You from the Lindquist Family

A Christmas Thank You From The Lindquist Family

Dear Friends, Family, and Co-Workers,

On behalf of my wife Donna, and our two children, Mark Jr. and Javier, and myself, I am writing this thank you letter to all who helped make our holidays a warm and wonderful time. Also this should serve as an official apology to those who were and some who still remain very ill from Donna’s Christmas quiche. Once again, I want to stress that though it may have initially appeared that only relatives from her stepfather’s side of the family developed the salmonella poisoning, Donna did not purposely use any expired ingredients in a malicious way as she has been so accused. Anyone with further questions regarding that matter can direct them to our lawyer who will return from Mexico City at the end of January. Happy New Year-- now let it go.

Our warmest thanks to everyone who blessed us with the lovely gifts we received. Our adopted three-year-old son from Columbia, Javier, really has taken to the fifteen soccer balls he received. Next year maybe some of you can discuss beforehand what presents you plan on giving out in hopes that a young boy doesn’t think it’s a cruel joke when he opens the same gift over and over and over.

Also, here’s something to think about. Donna and I realize that it is very plain to everyone that my thirteen year old, Mark Jr., is going through a teenager’s “phase,” in that he likes to wear short plaid skirts. It’s a tough age and kids like to play dress up. That’s all it is. Each of us probably has pictures from our own youths that look embarrassing. Therefore, those of you who gave him all kinds of women’s garments for Christmas are just encouraging him to keep rebelling. Let’s help him out of this phase without sending mixed messages. I don’t think I have to say it twice when I tell you that women’s undergarments as a gift for a young man is strictly forbidden in this house hold from now on.

Donna and I would like to send a personal thanks to Uncle Anthony for his lovely gift of twenty dollars worth of lottery scratch off tickets. And if any of you see Uncle Anthony or know of his whereabouts please pass on our gratitude. Could you also tell him that unfortunately none of the tickets were winners, and he should have known that since they were already scratched off, crumpled up, and looked as though they had gone through the wash once or twice? Please include in our appreciation to the elusive Uncle Anthony that we will not be sending him a bill for the case of wine he “borrowed,” but Donna would definitely like her cell phone back.

Finally, to us, the best part of the holidays is getting to spend quality time with all of you. Please always feel invited to our home. But, as I also had to state in last year’s thank you letter, as much as you are invited into our house, you are also subject to be patted down upon entering and checked for wearing a wire. We’ve had this problem before and we had it again this year (I’m talking to you Nana Lilly). We will not be coerced into saying anything on record or tape concerning Donna’s business dealings in Columbia. Especially during our favorite time of the year.

May 2007 be your best year yet!

Sincerely,

The Lindquists